Tuesday, 18 March 2014

It's Okay not to be Okay


Hey there.... Remember me? It's been a while... 4 months to be exact. I know I always seem to have plenty of reasons for why I haven't been around but this time quite simply I was sad. I have been for a while. A really long time if I'm honest, almost a year now. I don't always know why and luckily the feelings come and go but truthfully its been pretty hard. Why am I telling you this? There is a massive stigma around 'sadness'. It comes in varying degrees from the smallest tear to serious depression. We all feel it in some way at some point and yet people still don't always fully understand. Sometimes you can't just 'stop being sad', no matter how many times people tell you to. 

I have been lucky to have never suffered with depression but for me there was just a feeling that I couldn't shake. It felt a bit like a fog, and would just infiltrate every part of me without any warning. And even though it was affecting everything I did for some reason it just didn't seem acceptable to say 'I have a horrible feeling inside of me and it won't go away'. I didn't want to tell anyone and to anyone who encountered me on a daily basis I appeared completely fine but underneath I was struggling. For me it was when I drank that the cracks really started to show and the more I drank the sadder I became and so I would go out and drink more to feel better. The cycle was endless. The more it happened the more annoyed people became by me. I could feel my friends aggravation when they found me crying on a night out and every time I was told the same thing 'stop crying and have fun' but I just couldn't. That's not to say that my friends weren't helpful because the support they provided me with without even realising was amazing and just don't think they really understood what was/is happening. 

I think everyone has a turning point and mine came almost two months ago now in a meeting with my tutor. I had let myself become so overwhelmed that I couldn't remember even one sentence for my exams and I just didn't know what to do. I sat with my tutor for an hour trying to explain all the reasons I thought were to blame until I had over analysed the situation beyond belief and after a moment of silence he turned and said very calmly 'Rosie it sounds to me like there is something else going on here'. Then I started to cry. I felt like the biggest dick in history and felt so sorry for the poor man but it was that day that I finally accepted some things you can't deal with on your own. No matter how much you want to. And more than that, it's okay to feel sad. Just because you may feel like everyone else has bigger problems than you it doesn't make yours insignificant. Not if they are really affecting your day to day life. And so, with that in mind, I decided to take steps to finally deal with whatever it is that makes me feel this way.

Even two months on I can't say what it is that fundamentally makes me sad. A lot of different things can set me off and quite honestly I think its a mix of quite a few things. Those are things that are going to take me quite a lot of effort to really start to feel okay about, but I'm willing to put in the work. Now the happy periods are sometimes a little longer than the sad ones and some days I finally feel like I am making some form of progress. But as with all emotions a lot of the time it really is a case of 'one step forward, five steps back', I'm just hoping that one day I'll be able to reverse it and take five steps forward instead. 

I started off by asking why I was telling you this and for me it isn't a case of saying 'oh woe is me, life has been hard' because everyone has problems and it is wrong to assume that mine is are any harder or easier than anyone else's. Quite frankly I have no clue how other people truly feel or deal with their particular 'demons', no one does and it would be wrong for me to assume I did. More than that, life is hard and it would be stupid for me to think otherwise. I just wanted to make people realise that its okay to feel sad. You don't need to hide it and it's okay to ask for help. Don't let those feelings control you any more.

I wrote the majority of this post in the past tense because I have made the decision to move on and stop letting my sadness rule my life. I know its not that easy a lot of the time, it took me almost a year to reach that point and even now I'm really struggling. It's hard to admit you're not as strong as everyone thinks you are but realising that you have a problem and starting to talk to someone about it is the first step to helping yourself find a way out of it. So next time someone asks you if you're okay, be honest. Don't say what you think people want to hear. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Just know that there will be a light at the end, even if it doesn't seem like it right now.

And even if you aren't personally affected by any sort of negativity in your life remember a lot of people are struggling more than you realise. Just because you can't always see it doesn't mean it isn't there. Everyone is fighting some sort of battle of their own, so just be nice. You never know how your words or actions might affect someone. 

Rosie ♥

P.S. I don't know know if writing this will help me to get back into blogging but I really think, in the more selfish way, I needed to find an outlet to explain to myself what is going on, Whilst hopefully helping others realise that you don't have to have a diagnosed mental illness to have something like this really affect your life. I really do miss my little space on the internet and hopefully as I start to progress I'll finally be able to start writing again even if not quite as regularly as before.

50 comments:

  1. Youre so insightful, have so much real stuff to bring to the table. I hope that more people read this and get what I got from it: chills. Black Label No great job and great web site. I cant wait to read more, keep em comin!Hi everyone I have been glued to my seat definitely . It is nice to know that all the information I need is right in front of me. enjoyed ithttp://www.healthcaresdiscussion.com/black-label-no/

    ReplyDelete
  2. First-class information it is without doubt. My teacher has been searching for this tips.Thank you for the smart critique. Me & Black Label No my neighbour were preparing to do some research about that. We got a superior book on that matter from our local library and most books where not as influensive as your details. Im quite glad to see these data which I was searching for a long time.http://www.healthcaresdiscussion.com/black-label-no/

    ReplyDelete
  3. I learn something new on various blogs everyday. It is always stimulating to see content of other writers and learn a little something from them. Thank you for sharing.Terrific job here. Pure Testo Xplode I seriously enjoyed what you had to say. Keep going because you absolutely bring a new voice to this subject. Not many people would say what youve said and still make it interesting. Well, at least Im interested. Cant wait to see more of this from you.http://www.strongmenmuscle.com/pure-testo-xplode/

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wonderful solutions.Id like to suggest taking a look at such as something like cheeseburger. What do you think?
    I really enjoyed the article. Pure Testo Xplode It is always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained!Excellent read, I simply passed this onto a colleague who was doing a little analysis on that. And he truly purchased me lunch as a result of I found it for him smile So let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch! Anyway, in my language, there should not a lot good source like this.http://www.strongmenmuscle.com/pure-testo-xplode/

    ReplyDelete
  5. Im stuck for time at the minute but i have saved your page and will be back again!hi there! thank you for posting this. I understand your point of view and Addium I see where youre coming from. thanks again!Anybody who employs Shakeology? Im considering of working it, as well as I i has wondering if this a on those people just add water shakes? I recognise which people can get most fancy and also blend it, but I need something positive quick being The mornings by use of my thing To college a lot went its something I can only mix by water as well as proceed, I will as believe invest on it!! as well as long as buyersre as things are, Heres how are you like this this? may buyers advocate me taking this into The morning time, a warm or hot environment my breakfast replacement? http://guidemesupplements.com/addium/

    ReplyDelete
  6. Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities Prolongz of both the Touch and the Nano. Its very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.Hello, I found this blog via google, just thought you might want to know!http://www.healthcaresdiscussion.com/prolongz/

    ReplyDelete
  7. Some really helpful information in there. Bookmarked. Nice to see your site. Thanks!Hi, this a fantastic information buddy. Great Share. Alpha XTRM However I'm having problem with ur rss . Dont know why Fail to subscribe to it. So anyone else experiencing similar RSS issue? Anybody who can assist please reply. TQExcellent stuff.http://www.nutritionguideweb.com/alpha-xtrm/

    ReplyDelete
  8. kinda liked what you have written . it just is not that easy to discover great stuff to read (you know really READ and not simply going through it like a zombie before going to yet Super CBD another post to just ignore), so cheers man for really not wasting my time on the god forsaken internet. http://www.healthcaresups.com/supercbd/

    ReplyDelete
  9. Just to let you know, this post appears a little bit odd from my smart phone. Who knows maybe it really is just my mobile phone. Great post by the way.Fairly insightful submit. Cognimaxx XL Never believed that it was this simple after all. I had spent a great deal of my time looking for someone to explain this subject clearly and you're the only one that ever did that. Kudos to you! Keep it up.http://www.healthsupreviews.com/cognimaxx-xl/


    ReplyDelete
  10. Home remedies for conjunctivitis

    Some home remedies that can be taken by patients include:
    Keybiotics

    Hot / Cold compressibility - This is done by taking a clean, soft cloth soaked in the water. Water temperature can be hot or cold (anyone prefer the patient). Gently and this should be applied on the surface of the cloth eyes closed to help provide some comfort for the patient. As effective advice, you can add a bag of chamomile water before use.

    http://www.nationalhealthadvisor.com/Keybiotics

    ReplyDelete
  11. We are still numerous detainees of times those thoughts that test made clear at the beginning. A few individuals discover satisfaction through the Probrain
    procurement of the considerable number of others: the consideration and administration, and surrender a few things for others.

    http://www.nationalhealthadvisor.com/probrain

    ReplyDelete
  12. prada handbags, http://www.pradahandbagsoutlet.co.uk/
    prada outlet, http://www.pradaoutlet.us/
    hermes birkin, http://www.hermesbirkin.org/
    nike huarache, http://www.nikeairhuarache.org.uk/
    polo ralph lauren, http://www.poloralphlauren.us.org/
    tiffany jewellery, http://www.tiffanyjewelleryoutlets.co.uk/
    gucci handbags, http://www.guccihandbags-outlet.co.uk/
    oakley sunglasses, http://www.oakleysunglasseswholesale.in.net/
    air max 2014, http://www.airmax2014.net/
    nfl jerseys wholesale, http://www.nfljerseys-wholesale.us.com/
    chanel outlet, http://www.chaneloutletstore.us.com/
    timberland boots, http://www.timberlandboots.name/
    stuart weitzman boots, http://www.stuartweitzmanoutlet.us/
    vans shoes, http://www.vans-shoes.cc/
    oakley sunglasses, http://www.oakleysunglassesdiscount.us.com/
    hermes belt, http://www.hermesbelts.us/
    cheap jordans, http://www.cheapjordans.us.org/
    nike trainers, http://www.niketrainers.me.uk/
    coach outlet, http://www.coachoutletus.us/
    moncler coats, http://www.moncler.us.com/
    chanel handbags, http://www.chanelhandbags-outlet.co.uk/
    the north face outlet, http://www.northface-outlet.cc/
    ray ban sunglasses, http://www.ray-bansunglassess.in.net/
    rolex watches, http://www.rolexwatches.in.net/
    basketball shoes, http://www.basketballshoes.us.com/
    canada goose outlet, http://www.canadagoose.us.org/
    herve leger, http://www.herveleger.us.com/
    0919maoqiuyun

    ReplyDelete
  13. The human mind is an Geniux
    intricate framework, and in spite of the way that researchers have found in the piece and how it functions, there are still regions that are still a secret. Learn powerful approaches to enhance your psyche, take after these tips.
    http://www.nationalhealthadvisor.com/geniux

    ReplyDelete
  14. Trylo Fire
    You can utilize it, on the off chance that you are above 18 years old
    It must be utilized, on the off chance that you are not experiencing any medicinal condition or genuine ailment
    In the event that you are pregnant or in nursing conditions, then its utilization is entirely disallowed
    Where to buy?
    One can get begin with the trial pack of Trylo Fire to perceive how it is successful for you. So go on-line and get your request set at this point. Get tore and ripped body now!
    Aggregate tore body is each man's craving that is frequently hard to win. This requires such stringent activity schedules and workout that it's not by any means entirely simple to finish in lesser compass of time. Furthermore not everybody has sufficient energy to be in the rec center and persevere through extreme workout exertion. That is the reason a few lifting weights supplements are acquainted in the business sector today with offer you some assistance with achieving that conditioned and tore body without compelling eating routine and muscle upgrade regimen.



    Trylo Fire Review | http://www.nationalhealthadvisor.com/trylo-fire-au

    ReplyDelete
  15. Marz Sleep SpraysWord related Therapy: includes the help stroke patients take in the abilities of day by day life exercises, for example, figuring out how to eat, beverage, shower, can themselves. This will re-empower the patient to live autonomously at last once more.
    Language training: Patients determined to have aphasia need discourse restoration to recover their capacity to talk and comprehend discourse. It additionally helps the patient to have the capacity to correspond with others, and keeps the sentiment seclusion.
    Successful medications and treatment for stroke advancing ever, research proposes that there is a probability of treatment disappointment in the far off future, through foundational microorganism transplantation.
    Sort 2 diabetes List Dietary Supplements
    Sort 2 diabetes mellitus is known the presence of large amounts of sugar in the blood in light of the fact that the body's imperviousness to insulin. The creation of insulin however the body disregard it, bringing on glucose levels to rise. Sort 2 can as a rule be controlled with eating routine and activity, notwithstanding whatever other body observing framework express that may be available.


    Marz Sleep Sprays Oral Spray !!!!!!!!! http://www.nationalhealthadvisor.com/marz-sprays

    ReplyDelete
  16. By taking Bellaplex advantage of vitality?
    Even that is the best element for us, which is their main event do not know that we made some mistakes in the wrong to treat any subject of study use. Thus, we find what is best for us, and can save money, time, and without prejudice to wonder why on earth do not get any results from it. Thus, if the harmful effects experienced:


    Bellaplex Wrinkle Reducer | http://nationalfitnesspoint.com/bellaplex/

    ReplyDelete
  17. Finest locations to acquire?

    Every single child acquire this original probiotic technique linked to Bio X4 you could possibly click on the previously mentioned your ad to evaluate his or her short period of time trial offer. Generally there as soon as the typical pot is often abundant with extraordinary price tag reductions along with three months money-back promise. You can find no shipment costs becoming enquired through our very own customers as well as our very own shipment will be completely convey. Dash keep up with the tryout pot today and discover the actual variances making use bio x4 of your well being perfectly.
    http://www.healthcaresupslot.com/bio-x4/

    ReplyDelete

  18. Exactly why Will i Advise Daily By using Pinnacle Vigor Miracle Bust?

    Anticipate at least 3 to Miracle Bust 4 several weeks time before you will become seeing a standard boost inside how big the bosoms. When you have the inverted areola you'll undoubtedly just like thinking about discovering the teat flower suitable regular dimension. A pair of variables are usually very essential for me personally. An example may be its charge.

    http://trycogniyouth.com/miracle-bust/

    ReplyDelete
  19. differently referred to as final option up against the particular growing old in addition to inside little
    LMage Eye Serum
    period of time you will possess confirmed read through such successful strategy. It truly is definitely publicized as a result of reps together with as a result of pores and skin government bodies in which to http://trycogniyouth.com/lmage-eye-serum/

    ReplyDelete
  20. own life-style to see for anyone who is beneath significant amounts of pressure, invest increased unguaranteed occasion on this survey sun rays using your eating plan is actually packed with ready-made aLe Jeune cream nd as well impure substitutions, these kind of may well build mature protecting bolster additional speedily.
    http://trycogniyouth.com/le-jeune-cream-reviews/

    ReplyDelete
  21. Them obtain excellent reviews off the men and women?! For that reason merely sense a genuine consumer on
    L'Mage Skin Cream the other hand My own company is actually showing nutrients, this kind of have to have many function. Furthermore, My spouse and i unhampered recommend creating a personally appointment conducted previous to your own physician, taking into consideration utilizing it, just the thing additional is actually one particular able to execute to be sure more secure outcomes. You may also get pleasure from results even though sticking to almost all warning components i may give you inside of beneath mentioned lines, have a look at these individuals:

    http://trycogniyouth.com/lmage-skin-cream/

    ReplyDelete
  22. A change in eating behavior can be caused by a change in the environment. For example, a limited amount of time available Bio X4 Reviews for school children eat breakfast troops to eat quickly. Thus 0.100, on average, 13 years of age, and children spent, on average, only 7 minutes eating a school lunch with their peers (80). A more detailed study showed that 18 girls ate lunch in less than 5.6 minutes and 12 boys ate them in just 6.8 minutes. The only two girls and a boy able to maintain their food intake to the level observed when dining alone (258 grams and 289 grams in girls in boys). I ate nine girls, on average, 33% less than the food I ate seven girls and 23% more food, while the other boys BIO X4 eat 26 percent more food when schools eating lunch with his colleagues quickly (Figure 2). The average speed of eating to 183% in girls and 166% in boys compared to when they ate alone. Copied these changes in eating through school meals by increasing the speed of experimentally eat when the kids were eating individually (Fig. 2) (80). Thus, most of the boys and girls half eat too much when he was forced to eat quickly. Only a few are able to eat normal food quantity.

    http://www.optimalnutritions.com/nucific-bio-x4

    ReplyDelete
  23. If are usually reading the next few paragraphs chances are you're probably frustrated with your attempts to date to add inches to your penis size aren't we? Plus if you're anything like quite a few men yearning for a larger manhood you have even fallen prey to one and large number of enlargement gimmicks that are broken at many. What would you do to improve your penis significant? By using suction pumps? Swallowing remedies? Cianix Wishful thinking? I am willing to bet all the above methods don't bring about any effective result. At least I be sure that doing stretching exercises on your penis will end you up with a permanently bigger AND fitter manhood for lifestyles!

    http://musclebuildingbuy.com/cianix-reviews/

    ReplyDelete
  24. Medical care is definitely an important things to plan for perhaps before your baby exists. When you're preparing the child's room, one often shares Lux Derma Cream through to diapers but there are some simple things that you will also need for looking after a newborn's skin. It is significant since injury to your skin at such a small age might influence the patient in the future. All aspects of baby health Skin Care Review are essential to truly have a delighted and healthy child. http://advancedtrimsite.com/lux-derma-cream/

    ReplyDelete
  25. You shouldn't be concerned Zyntix when utilizing a Male Enhancer pill as a bit . include 100% harmless Zinc based ingredients, so there is no need to fret about those ill effects when with him or her. The uniquely developed Perforer5 formula has been painstakingly manufactured to give your body everything it needs to perform like a porn star in the sack, and giving you those porn star orgasms every instant. Clinical studies have verified the power of the product time and time again, so you are sure they will work just well with regard to you too. http://platinumcleanserinfo.com/zyntix-reviews/

    ReplyDelete
  26. This exhausted raised and skin needs to be spoiled to obtain prepared for nextday's function. Also you have to ensure that the above mentioned hard situations don't mark your skin with any unpleasant modifications like patchy skin or blemishes or black places. Vinetics C For many this you should give it with vitamins. The vitamins we eat in our diet are definitely in maintaining the outer skinis health also, very helpful. Skin Care authorities recommend night products to incorporate to their impact. These products possess a balanced blend of skin nutrients. Relevant application of products helps increase its repair routines, organizing it for the next day and so add the vitamins that are required.

    http://megacleanseradvice.com/vinetics-c/

    ReplyDelete
  27. One example that shows how significant Biogenic XR testosterone could be the drug called steroid. The actual is that anabolic steroid is androgenic hormone or. However, they are designed synthetically in which why federal government banned it and labeled it illicit. Since it is synthetic, more affordable many aspect in the body. However, the Testosterone Booster review is therapeutic for the metabolism. If it is of course made, your own body will grow much stronger. The muscles are healthier thus will be given the option to repair themselves.

    http://megacleanseradvice.com/biogenic-xr/

    ReplyDelete
  28. The place where a HL Slim Pro person enters a situation of total peace where the human body is relaxed trance is as well as the mind is quieted. An individual who is hypnotized encounters a calm state of focused concentration. Should you were to view the brain-wave action of your brain while it was hypnotized you would see the exercise much like that of when you are planning to enter sleep. During hypnosis your brain is open and open to suggestions. Being hypnotized can be a satisfying, refreshing and quite enjoyable experience.
    http://megacleanseradvice.com/hl-slim-pro/

    ReplyDelete
  29. Many Weight Loss tablets have distinctive advantages. Typically, the drugs will help you lose weight quicker than another way of weight loss. The tablets are usually there for you personally Pure Fast Garcinia , when you wish swift motion concerning your obese situations. Again, pills are easy to use. They are just swallowed by you based on recommendations. Additionally many of the Weight Loss supplements are constructed of natural or herbal products. This makes them safer in every ramification. Virtually all the drugs help overweight individuals to burn calories and body fat. Youare certain to reduce enough pounds if you utilize the supplements according to recommendations. http://reviverxtry.com/pure-fast-garcinia/

    ReplyDelete
  30. The underside line is the fact that massage should really be element of your general Testosterone Max XXL method for building muscle. That you don't have to abandon your products completely. That you do not have to cancel your gym membership, especially if that you do not have the required gear in the home. What you need to do, nevertheless, is not overlook the significance of the good massage to assist build muscle.

    http://celluriadenmark.com/testosterone-max-xxl/

    ReplyDelete
  31. In fact, I've had many 3 mini workout session times. I'll start with a 10 minute stretching routine in the morning. Do an intense 10 minute weight lifting Herbal Alchemist Cbd Cannabidiol Oil Pills superset routine at supper. I'll end the day with ten mins of HIIT outside my home or on my treadmill. Bang, that's half an of fitness covering all of the bases. The great thing is it hardly appears like I worked out in the time-sense. Furthermore, it results in highly focused and intense sessions.

    http://vitacleanseblogs.com/herbal-alchemist-cbd-cannabidiol-oil-pills/

    ReplyDelete
  32. Staying hydrated is merely another name for maintaining your body fluids and healthy. This can be done by adding other healthy beverages and also water into your diet plan. This can be one of the ideas that have a dual purpose. Not only does it allow you to keep fluids within your body, Renu Coffee Cleanse nevertheless it also maintains your hunger away. Fluid fools the stomach into thinking it is entire. Another of the Weight Loss recommendations is Glycemic index. This can be an index of glucose in all meals and it is valuable when selecting the sort of diet that is best for you personally.

    http://primacleanseplus.com/renu-coffee-cleanse/

    ReplyDelete
  33. Your skin Yuva Forever layer may be the most noticeable element of the body. You could already be one particular individuals who have a recognised skincare regime. However, it would be beneficial to you to have a long look in the mirror and analyze your cases. Think about, is the skins treatment regime giving you the required consequence? But are you currently using the right strategies, and undoubtedly the proper items. Skincare advice is vast and numerous, but if you truly wish a visible variation, it's time to consult the top in the commercial, physicians! The following are expert skins care methods which will set the "wow" element back into your skins.

    http://brainfireadvice.com/yuva-forever/

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...